Love Talk

Quarter Life Crisis And Love

When you experience a quarter-life crisis, you repeatedly find yourself reflecting on the major changes that have happened in your life. You think about the close friends from high school that turned into strangers, the major bills/responsibilities that weren’t originally factors in your decision to become an adult, and the colorful romances you’ve experienced throughout your lifetime.

What is Love?

One topic that has been lingering in mind is “love.” As a child, love was simply taking a bite into a Krispy Kreme donut. As a teenager, love was catching yourself singing “I’m Sprung” by T-Pain while thinking about a special someone. As I reach my 25th year of being Alexander Pompee, I’m ready to admit that I’m not sure what love is. I have my own definition of love that has been influenced by my culmination of experiences, but I feel like I haven’t scratched the surface on the subject yet. As a result, I decided to reach out to a combination of peers and strangers to enrich my knowledge of love. I asked more than 40 people how they would define love and I was blown away by the responses.

How Other People Perceive Love

Take a look at how other people in the world perceive love. *Responses were submitted in the form of text messages/emails and retain the sender’s original content.*

Love is a decision. People are beautiful. People are ugly. People are imperfect. If your feelings for someone are contingent upon what they do, no one would be able to love anyone. Love doesn’t always feel good. People will let you down. But people can build you up. And if you listen, a person will always tell you who they really are, and if you so happen to fall in love with this truth, it can be very rewarding. Real love transcends pride and selfishness. It’s a powerful force that compels you to look past yourself in the interest of helping another human being on their life’s journey, and that, my friends, is a beautiful thing. Z.H. 25

To me, love is an infinite passion that’s undeniable and untarnished by another’s opinion. It’s a sacred feeling that’s amazingly unique to the person who loves! M.B. 24

Love is the force that drives us to learn how strong we are and what we’re willing to lose. U.M. 25

2 words, 1 adjective and 1 verb unconditional support. Love is not a noun to me it is a verb because real love is not saying “I love you” but showing I love you. My purest examples of love come from God and my parents who always show me support in many forms and without bounds  (the unconditional part). I have friends who live far from me that I barely speak to but I know they live me because I know that if I needed their support they would give it no matter how often we speak. G.W. 26

Love is a deeper, unconditional liking and yearn for desire towards something or someone. F.R. 23

 A strong feeling of affection and willingness to devote time, money and energy to a person or object. B.B. 25

When you really can’t do without someone. They are constantly on your mind. When you think about them, you can’t help but smile. When you’re around them, it’s nothing but laughs and good vibes. When you find yourself praying for them more than you do yourself. If push came to shove, you would give them your last. Finally, when you make up your mind that nothing or nobody will get in between y’all. K.K. 25

My definition of love is “peace of mind.” So often, humans love but always have this discomfort because they don’t know what has happened, what’s going on, or what will happen. Love isn’t worry. I hate when people say love makes you do crazy things because it really doesn’t. Love is peace, comfort, compassion, duty, and most important, love is healthy. M.L. 25

Love is to feel secured, to trust, and care about a person. J.C. 25

Love is when your heart has been broken multiple times, and after all those bad experiences, and fear that could happen one more time, allowing a person to become part of your life because you know that person is totally worth having your heart broken once more. M.C. 24

Love to me is something that gets redefined daily by the decision to make sacrifices or not to make sacrifices. That’s why love is so powerful and when some people hear the word, they cringe, and others hear/say it and it brings joy to their life. J.J. 29

Love is dedication to what fulfills and feeds the soul. It’s understanding what is clear and having the patience to understand what isn’t.  Love is humility .. being selfless and truly seeing the beauty in the things that are bigger than ourselves. Love is a choice. I think that’s people always say “love always wins” … because it isn’t supposed to be hard or difficult to understand. And the moment where everything “clicks” .. would be the moment where you choose love. You choose to be happy, dedicated, fulfilled, at peace. You chose to be selfless and commit to what makes you happy. You make the decision to free yourself and truly let your spirit guide you. Love is a state of being .. not a destination. Like when people say they are “in love” .. you can’t hop in a car and drive to a place called love. It is within you.. and until you have an understanding of yourself and appreciation for the simplest of things.. it can’t be woken up in your spirit for you to recognize. We are love. We only realize it once we reach our potential. God is love, we are his creations. A.C. 24

Love is when you find someone that you can truly be yourself with. N.W. 24

To me, love is giving oneself to another. It’s not about what that person can do for me, but what I can give to that person. To see be able to appreciate someones imperfections and want to share each others unique journey. J.C. 25

I think Love is an undeniable force that controls everyone. It is the reason for hope, happiness and despair. It is the only thing that can build a nation and destroy it at the same time. C.M. 24

Love for me is an internal feeling and emotion. L.A. 25

The Hebrew word for love is ‘ahava’ which is derived from the root word ‘hav’ which means ‘to give’. So ‘ahava’ essentially means both ‘I give’ and ‘love. To love is to give and it is only through giving that one can achieve true love. C.P. 26

Love is a constant game of compromise that you’re willing to play. Love may at times be like. Love is being on an international flight, that at the end of the trip you still look forward to telling the passenger next to you all about your day, and hearing theirs. S.H. 28

To me, love is unconditional, forgiving, truly wanting nothing more than happiness for the person you love. Love is a choice. Choosing to fix the light bulb in the house when it goes out, instead of buying a new house. G.D. 24

Love is more of a feeling to me. It’s much easier to feel love rather than explain it. It’s a rollercoaster of ups and downs but still accepting everything they have to give despite obstacles that may come. It can take a person their whole life to really understand the true meaning of love, but once you feel it, you know. T.M.  24

Love is just a word. TO love is to be physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally intertwined w/ someone or something regardless of any circumstances. R.F. 24

Definition of love? Her smile, her laugh, the way her eyes shine, the way her face lights up, her kind heart always wanting to help others, her hugs, her kisses, her in general. She’s my definition of love. K.M. 25

To me love is like freedom. H.H. 26

Love is peaceful and wild happening at the same time. A feeling of wholeness, like everything you’ve lost has found its way back to you. A.E. 26

Know your worth and be with someone who knows your worth” because it really helped me put things in perspective about how I was being treated in previous relationships compared to when I first started dating my now husband. It’s that and ” do something that makes your soul happy” M.Q. 24

Peace, happiness and life. Love brings you a feeling of peace everyday and happiness even when your low and gives you some purpose. Ultimately adding to your life pure joy. M.R. 26

I think love is giving. It isn’t self serving; it puts the needs and happiness before your own. It’s always striving to make that person happy, smile, and feel comfortable emotionally. It’s like their happiness brings you happiness. I think love is also enchanting and intoxicating. It inspires you. It’s sorta like fuel because it makes you want to be your best. And I think love is proven by actions because people are self-serving by nature. It’s easy to say things but it actually means something when someone goes out of their way to do for you. I think love is a healing force. Finally, I think when you have that one special person, they’re perfect for you because they’re a combination of things and they’re someone you can play through life with. You guys grow together easily and naturally AND if life is a journey, you guys walk together hand and hand and make TRY and make the journey of life easy for one another. N.T. 24

Love is hard for me to define because I’ve never found it personally, but I would say it’s total acceptance of another person for everything they are and trusting them with your heart. To have the power to make your world feel perfect or tear it apart. E.B. 24

1 John 4:16 (KJV) – And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. In Jesus Christ dwells true love that nourishes and raptures. His love language is obedience via faith. Acts 2:38 details the perfect response to such a great love as His. N.C. 24

A deep-seated care and affection for one another. L.T. 25

Love is giving everything we have so that the other feels comfortable. Love is making the impossible to see the other person smiling. Doing things, we never thought of doing. Bringing coffee along with their favorite dessert at random times of the day. Love is cooking a special meal. Arguing but knowing, not matter what is said at the end you are there for each other no matter the situation. Most importantly, love is a verb not a noun. A.R. 24

 

When you are mad crazy about somebody to the point where you will put aside your morals, good judgement, opportunities, and everything good that comes your way just for that person. D.C. 23

Finding someone or something you are compatible with, someone/something you can always give your time and love too. A form of trust is built and that someone/something has the same love and understanding as you do. And you aren’t afraid of that someone/something. K.C. 23

God is love. M.W. 26

Love is probably the most dangerous emotion out there. It’s extremely powerful. You can love someone to the extent that when you lose them, you become sad. M.C. 25

Imagine being all alone in a labor room, enduring gut wrenching pain one contraction after another, yet every-time the pain rises from your abdomen to your genitals, you remind yourself you are receiving a gift, a promise is being fulfilled , a news is being delivered. And every rise and low of that pain there is truly only one presence with you, you talk with it, you cry in horror and you laugh in pure ecstasy in its presence , you make new promises. For some people it may be God, for others, it may be their ancestors and for a few the Universe. Whatever you may choose to call it, that presence, that energy of the ancestors , that Universe that allows you to be more than yourself, in order to deliver something extra ordinary, a whole human in this case is love. We often forget the strength of our maker, we label it with different names, but I choose to call it love. S.N. 29

Love is pretty simple. It’s a deep, true affection towards an individual that can’t be undone. It’s selfless, meaning you trust someone with your heart and life. The act of caring and giving to someone else, meaning having someone’s best interest and well-being without a doubt. D.W. 23

Love is taking the joys, sorrows, and burdens of the people you treasure as if they were your own. It is celebrating the triumphs together and learning from the failures together. It is sacrificial, compassionate, patient, caring, and forgiving. It is more than emotion. It is about action. It is about commitment when you are angry and disappointed . Love is about being someone that can be relied on. Love really covers all things;  being sensitive to the needs of the other, of offering help when it is needed, maybe in helping around the house when the person is exhausted and cannot go any more. It’s being silent and listening when the person needs that . It is many things. Love almost requires you to put another before self . Life Organic Versatility Emotions. S.G. 29

A deep rooted control that allows one to feel another one’s pain and gains. Deep enough to generate spontaneous actions. Both bad and good. A feeling of comfort that can assist a past damaged life into a strong individual. Love has no language, it’s universal. You can’t speak “love”, but you can feel it. J.C. 24

Love is putting others before putting yourself. Love is peace.  Love is knowing you’re making a difference in someone’s life without expecting anything in return. Love is wanting only the best for those special people in your life. Love is truth. J.D. 25

I think that love is not something that can just completely be described by way of one definition. Love, for me, is being able to love and care about a person and understanding the things that they do and don’t want in all areas of life. Love is showing that you care. Is taking the time to pay attention to the most insignificant details and then using them to nurture and show attention to their mates. It’s not something that can just be described by words because love’s definition lies into the very things that we do. C.S. 25

I would be happy to share. I believe there is a difference between loving someone and being in love. You can love your dog. You can love a friend. Meaning if something were to happen to that person it would make you cry. You care about their well being and you are afraid to hurt them. Now, falling in love with someone is that same definition but additionally, its when you can’t see your life without that person. Your heart is easily swayed by their words and you can become blinded at times from how you really feel. You would do just about anything to make them happy and to see them smile. It pains you to see them sad. But in the end, you just want what is best for them. Sometimes when things become too comfortable it could become a selfish kind of love. Love is a feeling, and it does not have to be logical to exist. Love should be something that grows and it should not be stagnant. Love should be mural and does not have to be a fairy tale. And finally, there may be a difference between what is real and what is fiction, but if you are not learning how to be a better person with that person, you are wasting your time. N.Q. 24

Love is real. Placing two hearts next to each other to make whole. A word so powerful that times it could make your heart stop, your breath ease, and your mind race. Love is desire..from mind to soul.. soul to body.. Love can change you. From the feelings you crave to the words you speak. Love can make us do crazy things. Make sacrifices to risk living. S.G. 25

My definition of love is combined emotions that lead individuals to develop specific intense feelings of deep affection towards someone else. This requires you to accept someone for who they are, allow yourself to be vulnerable, and have selfless actions toward this person. It’s an emotion that is hard to measure in nature and you may never know what it truly feels like unless you have experienced it before. Love makes certain receptors in your brain fire messages that make you see someone differently and admire them. Now there are certainly different types of love such child-parent or boyfriend-girlfriend love. I truly believe that in order to be “in love” and experience the intensity that is love; one must have those feelings returned when it comes to romantic relationships. L.A. 25

What was your favorite definition? Feel free to let me know in the comment section below. If you were touched by a quote, please share this blog post with the world because everybody needs to see this. Thank you for all of the love (pun intended.)

Song Of The Day

Today’s song of the day is “Is This Love” by Bob Marley.  Part of my inspiration for making this blog post was hearing this beautiful song play on my R&B Pandora station. As Bob Marley repeats “Is this Love?” the hopeless romantic in me couldn’t help but start the trillionth discussion on love. Interesting fact: This song was dedicated to Bob Marley’s wife, Rita.